The Importance of Fathers

We're going to begin in Ephesians chapter six this morning. Ephesians chapter six, if you want to turn there. And we'll read verses one through four. Ephesians chapter six verses one through four. Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.

Honor thy father and mother which is the first commandment with promise. That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And you fathers, provoke not your children to wrath. But bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Let's go to Lord in prayer once more.

Lord, thank you for this day. Thank you for your word. Thank you for the time we've taken out to honor our fathers today. I pray Lord that we would honor our earthly fathers and even more so, our heavenly father, not only in the worship that we give you today but also in receiving your word by faith, applying it to our lives, and living our life this coming week is to bring glory to our heavenly father. That others would indeed see Jesus Christ in us.

They would glorify our father who is in heaven. Pray that you would bless the service today. We pray Lord that you would direct us as we look into your word as I speak and as we receive it. Lord, we pray that we might be conformed into the of your son. We pray if there's one here today that has yet to receive Christ that today would be their day of salvation.

For in Jesus precious name, we pray. Amen. Our fathers really necessary or is a paternal contribution not as essential as we think. Now, you may look at me this morning and think, what is wrong with you, pastor? But we live in a world today that for the past, oh, I don't know, fifty years has been questioning the importance of the roles of fathers in the home and in their children.

It has been popularized among some that fathers really aren't necessary and hence, we have among other reasons, a lot of children born out of wedlock today and some consciously without a father present in the home. There are some sadly who homes split up or whose fathers die and that's that's a different story but we live in a world that's been questioning. Many things about the home. We've been discussing in Sunday school about the role of the wife in the home and in church these past few weeks and the difference between men and women as well as their commonalities in service of the Lord. Our father is really necessary.

Well, as we go through scripture, I just want to mention a few of the father and son combinations that we read about in particular. Zebedee, now, some of you may not know who Zebedee is but he's mentioned in scripture more than once by being the father of his two sons, James and John, two of Christ's disciples. Jonas, we're not talking about Jonah of the Old Testament but Jonah or Jonas of the New Testament, he's the father of Peter and Andrew. We don't know a lot about these two fathers but they raised some very good sons. Noah had three sons, Shem, Ham, and Japheth.

Noah's father's name was Lamek. Jared, another father in scripture in Genesis chapter five, had a son named Enoch. May not know anything about Jared but we do know some things about faithful Enoch. Jesse, the father of David. David, the father of Solomon.

Abraham and Isaac, Isaac and Jacob, Jacob and Joseph, fathers and sons. Adam and Abel and Seth. And Cain. Tira, Tira's son's name was Abraham. He left Er with Abraham to go back to Heron where he died before Abraham left for the promised land.

Joshua, Joshua is famously called the son of Nun. And if you're not looking in scripture, you might think, oh, he didn't have parents but no, none is spelled N U N and it doesn't mean that he was the son of no one. It means his father's name was Nun as it is pronounced or written in English from Hebrew. And we could we could go on. There are many father and son combinations.

Well, father and daughter combinations in scripture. And the mention of these fathers particularly when they're not don't play seem to play a major role in some places in scripture. Would seem to indicate to us that fathers are important. At least to the one who created fathers and mothers and children and that's God who created the home. Do not underestimate importance of a good father.

As so many in the world today have. Though Joseph in the New Testament was not Jesus' biological father, he filled that role in Jesus' earthly home. And God chose it to be so. Yeah, he wasn't Jesus biological father. He had a biological mother but his father was God the father in heaven.

Why did he have to have an earthly father? Why did there need to be a father in the home at all? Because God so ordained it and chose it to be. That Jesus would need an earthly father. Further indicating the important role that fathers have particularly in the rearing of their and care of their children.

It has been said that a child's understanding of their heavenly father is in some measure linked to their own experiences with his or her earthly father. And having been in the youth ministry twelve years before having come here to be a pastor for almost the last twelve years. It doesn't seem like it possibly be twelve years but it has been almost as of September. I have seen many instances where this is clearly the case. Our perception of God is colored, affected by our perception of our earthly father.

If their father is unloving, they often have a difficult time understanding God's love. If your father was was mean, often times, they have a hard time understanding. Their heavenly father thinking that he's waiting up there just for them to goof so they can squash them. That isn't him. If their father was unforgiving, they have a hard time understanding the forgiveness of their heavenly father.

If their father was absent, they have a hard time understanding the faithfulness. Of our heavenly father who will never leave us nor forsake us. If their father was untrustworthy, they have a hard time understanding the trustworthiness. Of their heavenly father. If their father was permissive, they may have an hard time understanding the holiness.

And justice of their father which is in heaven. Conversely, if their earthly father was loving, kind, firm, forgiving, always there. It makes it easier for them. In part, to understand and grasp these traits in their heaven father. That would seem to be the case.

It does seem to have an effect and so we celebrate and honor fathers today as we should because they do play a very important role in the lives of their children. Whether they be little children and even as they grow into adulthood. My father doesn't call me to tell me to take out the trash anymore or to mow the lawn. But my father at least in my mind still plays a very important role. In my life.

And I will miss him. When he is gone from this earth though I'm glad I will see him again and I hope that isn't very soon. Fathers, starting with our heavenly father, deserve our honor and respect for job that God has given them to provide and to care for their families. The perfect role model for every father is our our heavenly father who knows us better than we know ourselves. Loves us more than we will ever understand and freely gives us all things which we need.

I'm going to read a few verses from Matthew chapter seven. Matthew chapter seven beginning in verse seven, Jesus Jesus said, ask and it shall be given to you. Seek and you shall find. Knock and it shall be opened unto you. For everyone that ask it receiveth, he that seeketh findeth, and to him that knocketh, it shall be opened.

Or what man is there of you, whom if his son asks for bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your father which is in heaven, give good things to them, that ask him. You see, we are sometimes poor representatives. Reflections of our heavenly father and his love and faithfulness.

But we can be sure that his love and faithfulness are perfect that he is a god and a father up there desiring to hear from his children desiring to hear not only their praise and their Thanksgiving but also of their needs and he provides for those needs perfectly. Sometimes, we may struggle to see that as we can't see the big picture. But God our father in heaven is a perfect father, a good father, a faithful father, and he longs to provide us with those things that are for our good. He says in Romans eight twenty eight, for all things work together for good. To those or to them who love the Lord, to those who are the called according to his purpose.

All things work together for good. For God's children. He loves us. He cares for us And he knows what he's doing. Sometimes, when we don't even understand it.

He is a good God and he is a good father and one which we should all emulate particularly those of us who are fathers. God gave us fathers. Number one, we're going to look at four points this morning. To provide for our personal necessities as our heavenly father has. We see that even here in this passage.

If you ask for bread, we give him a stone. If you ask for fish, we give him a snake. God is saying, Jesus is saying there that your heavenly father cares about your needs. He says in Matthew six thirty six or six thirty three, but seek you first the kingdom of God, his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you. He knows what we need even before we ask and as our heavenly father is there to provide for our physical necessities, God has given us earthly fathers particularly as children to help provide for our physical necessities as well.

In first Peter five eight, it says, but if any, provide not for his own and specifically for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel. Notice the pronouns in first Timothy five eight. But if any provide not for what? His own. His own.

And specifically those of his own house. He hath denied the faith and is worth an infidel. Three times, pronouns, he, his, and his indicating the father in the home. God holds responsible for providing for the needs of his family. Those are not my words, those are whose words.

God's words. Though the Bible does not forbid women to work and contribute, we read from Proverbs 31 this morning in Sunday school. You see the virtuous woman there working and contributing. To her home and we'll read it again this evening in reference to Ruth. Though the Bible is not forbid women to work and contribute, God places the responsibility squarely on the shoulders of the father to see that his family is provided for.

I and some of you also have ministered personally to children who were either abandoned or neglect ed by their fathers. And it is sad to see the impact upon their lives. There is a good bit that is wrong with our society today. That is due in part to the abandonment and the neglect of children by their fathers. Children who grow up in homes where their fathers have already abandoned them or just do not have time nor bother to take care and provide for them.

They join gangs. They get into drugs And violence. Now, this isn't always the case but many times it is. And who does God hold responsible? Among others?

The fathers of those children. Being a father is more than just having a child, being a father is being there to provide for that child. And see that that child is provided for. Responsibility that God has given to fathers. Another responsibility is God has given to fathers is to provide for our education in knowledge both temporal and eternal.

Deuteronomy six four through seven. Here oh Israel, the Lord our God is one Lord and thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart and with all thy soul and with all thy might and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children and shall talk of them when thou sitest in thine house and when thou walkest by the way and when thou liest down and when thou risest up. Notice first part of those verses say, here, oh Israel. Now, God is not not designating or or between men and women here or fathers and mothers. He's speaking to all of what?

All of Israel in this particular case. Of course, it applies to us who know the Lord in the New Testament and he says, here oh Israel, love the Lord your God and look down and thou shalt teach these laws and about the Lord diligently unto your what? Children. That includes mother and what? Father.

And particularly, It is fathers, I believe, responsibility to see that their children are educated. They may not do all the teaching neither the mother. My kids go to a school five days a week where they receive teaching in math and English and and social studies and other things but it is our responsibility to see that they are taught not only in temporal things and academics but also and even so more importantly in the things of who? The Lord. That is the responsibility of the parents.

They're sent to a Christian school as eyes as as ours are, the school can help with that or assist. The church can assist with that but ultimately, it is the responsibility of the mom and dad and as the head of the home, particularly the dad, to see that the children are taught in the ways of the Lord. Notice, fathers are not exempted from this responsibility. No, it would seem from the words nurture and admonition in Ephesians six four, we read a little earlier that fathers play a vital role in educating their children. Proverbs twenty two six, again, speaking generally to the parents, it says, train up a child in the way he should go and when he was old, he will not depart from it.

The word train means to set on the right path, to set on the right path. It is the responsibility God has given to parents to set their children on the right path and Lord willing by his grace, they will continue on that path particularly as they trust and follow the Lord but it is the parent's responsibility to set them on the right path. How do they do that? Well, by teaching them, by teaching them in word, by teaching them an action and example. Fathers and mothers alike to set them on the right path.

All too often, this becomes solely mom's responsibility. While dad spends all of his time at the office or out with friends. I've noticed this in our culture today and particularly. There's a lot of fathers that they spend time each week out with their buddies. And though there's a place for doing stuff with friends, your home is more important than your buddies.

It's more important than your hobbies. It's more important even than some of the extra hours you might put in at work that aren't absolutely necessary. When I was younger, my dad sometimes would work be asked to work overtime on Sundays and from time to time, he would have to work on Sunday but by the time I got to be about 10 years old, he quit. He never again to my remembrance ever worked on Sunday. Sometimes, it cost him but he wasn't going to work on Sundays Sometimes, anymore and I thank my father for for setting that example.

There are some that don't have that choice. There's some who have jobs where they have to work on Sunday some and sometimes there's no way around it. But which is more important? Who is more important? As fathers, our children, and our children should still be important to us even when they're grown.

Provide for their physical necessities, provide for their education have them in church, take time to read scriptures with them. We pray every night with our children before we put them to bed. It's important to fill that role fathers. To keep it before them on a regular basis. The last part of this verse and shall talk of them when thou sittest in thine house and when thou walkest by the way and when thou liest down and when thou rises up.

The third point here, God has given us fathers to provide for our discipline and direction through the maze of life. God has given us fathers to provide discipline. Back up here on the screen and you fathers provoke not your children to wrath but bring them up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. While God is warning fathers not to provoke their children to wrath, not to lose control of their anger, not to put their wants and ambitions before their children and raise angry children. But to lovingly nurture and admonish them in the Lord.

Both those words nurture and admonish carry the idea of discipline. Children need discipline. And it is the responsibility of parents and particularly fathers to provide their children with discipline. The the word admonition in particular in this verse means kind rebuke and sometimes we all need rebuke. Sometimes, we as God's children need his rebuke.

A matter of fact, we often need his rebuke. From his word and by his spirit. Or else we tend tend to start going off. Of course. But our loving heavenly father is not up there waiting for us to mess up.

So he can make us miserable. No, our loving heavenly father chastens us when we start to go off path because he loves us and he cares for us and he doesn't want us to suffer the consequences. Of choosing the wrong path and he doesn't want others to suffer the consequences of us choosing the wrong path and so he rebukes us and he chastens us and he disciplines us and it is also the responsibility of human fathers to discipline their children not just mother. Some verses from Proverbs. Proverbs twenty two fifteen.

Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. Children are by nature children. They're undisciplined. They're foolish and that's why God gives them parents to help them, to guide them, and to protect them from their own foolishness and one of the ways that parents do that is through correct discipline. Proverbs twenty three thirteen, withhold not correction from the child for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.

I'll come back to that in a second. Proverbs twenty three fourteen, thou shalt beat him with the rod and shalt deliver his soul from hell. The rod there represents correction. If you just let people go, children go without direction and without discipline. They will go further and further away from the Lord and and not usually to him.

Proverbs 2,915, the rod and reproof give wisdom but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. A child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Children need discipline. It's an important part of being a parent. In the verses we read, the word beat does not mean as we would apply it.

It means to strike but it doesn't mean to abuse or beat. The word rod means branch or stick. Now, some might think these verses are advocating child abuse. These verses no way condone any such thing. There is a proper place to spank a child on his backside and a proper way in love and not in controlled anger or retaliation.

Discipline is not losing control. That ceases to become discipline. Discipline is not retaliation. You did this to me so I'm going to get you. That ceases to be discipline.

Discipline whether it is corporal punishment or whether it is a time out or restrictions is to be done in love for the good of the one being disciplined and not for the release of anger or retaliation on the part of the one giving the discipline. The scriptures are very clear. About dangers of uncontrolled anger and revenge. Vengeance is mine. I will repay, say it the Lord.

Many today think we should ignore these verses altogether particularly concerning corporal punishment and if therefore, raise a generation of young people who are indeed very often spoiled and foolish and show a lack of respect for both God and other god ordained authorities in their lives. Just ignoring scripture is not the answer. We should listen to it and apply it correctly. While it is true that some children need very little corporal punishment, many do and to ignore God's command on this issue out of fear or arrogance is dangerous. There are some children that don't need a whole lot of corporal punishment and there are others that need more.

Each child is what? Different and is up to the parents to know their child. And to discipline them accordingly. And to listen to God's instruction who made them. Shame on fathers who have shirked their their God given responsibility to discipline and instruct their children in the things that are right.

It is difficult for some. Particularly those who truly love their children and want to do it right. It is difficult for us sometimes to discipline our children because we don't want to do it wrong. But that must not keep us from doing it. And obeying God's word and showing our children we love them by setting boundaries and then by dealing with disobedience to those boundaries in a godly fashion and it's up to fathers to see that that's done.

Not that mothers are not the discipline they should. But fathers should not neglect that. And leave it up to mom to do it. God has given you a responsibility. To discipline your children.

And instruct them. In what is right. God has also given us fathers number four to provide our children with love and security and an example to follow especially in their relationship with God. To provide for their physical needs, to provide their education, and temporal things and in eternity, to provide discipline and direction, and to provide them with love, and security. The word nurture is one chosen in contrast to the word admonition.

The word admonition is a negative word. The word nurture is a positive word. Both of them together speak of everything that we've looked at this morning. The teaching and instructing and in discipline and loving and your children and caring for them and making them feel secure. Children need to be loved and made to feel secure.

If the father's place, it is the father's place to be so and to provide them with such an environment. An environment of what? Love and security. A child who does not feel loved and a child who does not feel secure in their own home is a child who will often grow up angry, callous, or timid and as a youth pastor, I dealt with kids every week that were angry. Angry kids.

Why did they get to be angry? Often it was because they had a father who did not provide them with a secure and loving environment. My dad was not and is not the perfect father. He wasn't there as often as I would have liked him to be when I was a child. However, he provided me with a loving and a secure environment.

And that made an incredible difference. In my life compared to so many kids and teenagers that I have dealt with. It is important that we love our children. Not only that we love them but that they want. They sense and they know.

That we love them. That we tell them that we love them. That we keep them secure. Protect them. Fathers, it is your responsibility to protect your children.

We we live in again a society today that often times complains about children being over protected and parents who are over protective. But in most cases, Children are rarely in danger of being overprotected. Sadly, it's in being under protected and I'm not talking about the world. But in Christian homes. We allow often times our children to see things that they shouldn't see, hear things that they shouldn't hear.

We allow them to go places maybe they shouldn't go or to hang out with people they shouldn't hang out with and it's our responsibility as parents to protect them when they're young. When they get to be adults and they're on their own, then, they must choose but we need to set them on the right path. We need to protect their young minds, their eyes, and their ears from things. That would distort their view of God and of life. And bring things into their mind at a young age that have no place there.

And that's hard in our society. Because it's all around us. It is our responsibility to do our our best to protect them. They won't always like it. That's okay.

We're not placed here to be their buddy. We're placed here to be their parents. And if you had a parent who when you were young, you thought, boy, they're overprotected. I bet now you thank God for that parent. I do.

Who cared enough to protect me? Some fathers did a better job in scripture at this than others. Jesse undoubtedly had an impact on his son, David. David failed in many ways with many of his children but later in life, he succeeded, it would seem in many ways with Solomon. After God humbled him for his earlier failure.

Eli, you know, Eli from scripture? You know that he failed miserably with his two older sons. They died, lost the ark, lost the priesthood, but he did learn something because when Samuel came along, he wasn't Samuel's biological biological father but he was a father figure in his life. It seems he did a better job. Tira must have done something right with Abraham as Jacob failed with some of his sons but he certainly succeeded with Joseph.

Zebedee and Jonas must have done something right with James and John and Peter and Andrew. Now, it is our turn. Our turn to be the fathers and parents we should be and to honor the parents that God has given to us. Who did their best to be that father and mother for us. If fathers fail, there are big consequences.

Exodus 20 verse five, thou shalt not bow down thyself to them. Speaking of idols, nor serve them, for I, the Lord, thy God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me. God says, there are consequences to your descendants if you turn. From the worship of God because likely, you will turn them on the idols as well and they will reap the consequences of their unbelief and their idolatry. In Judges two ten, sadly, Israel didn't listen that well and we read this and also all that generation were gathered under their fathers and there arose another generation after them which knew not the Lord nor yet the works which he had done for Israel.

In Exodus, God warned them, if you turn to idolatry, you're going to bring terrible consequences on your children to the third and fourth generation. In Deuteronomy, God said to Israel, you shall teach them these things. Day in and day out. Seems they didn't listen very well. And their children reap the consequences of their actions.

That's what's happening in our society today. Sometimes even in Christian where we put God down the list of priorities somewhere and it becomes a convenient thing. We come to church when it's convenient. We serve the Lord and tell the truth when it's convenient. We witness when it's convenient or not at all.

And our children grow up in homes where God is second place or third and so, they quit church altogether. I've seen it many times and of course, all the violence in our society all the drug use, promiscuity generation that has turned from God. How did that happen? Their parents didn't teach them. The Lord as they should have.

And so, we see the consequences. Thankfully, for those who trust the Lord Jesus Christ as savior. Choose him as their heavenly father God can turn things around. Children are not doomed to follow in their parents' footsteps. If they will return, repent, and trust in who?

In the Lord. God is the father of the fatherless. He is a god of mercy and he is a god of love and he says, for whosoever shall call in the name of the Lord shall be saved. If you're here today, your parents may have let you down. Your education system may have let you down.

Your friends may have let you down. You may have been running from God. You may not know him at all but you can. There is mercy. God loves you.

He sent his son to die for you. To die for your sins. So that you might be saved. He is a loving God and he wants to be your father today. He wants to change your life.

He wants to set you on the right path and he will. If he will repent and trust him. His son and his death on cross for you. Surrender your life to him to be the Lord of your life. Trust in him today.

He won't fail you. Have you done that? I hope you have. If you haven't, you can. And he will become your father.

For as many as received him to them gave he power to become. The sons, the children of God, even to them that believe on his name. Will you believe today? Let's close with a word of prayer. Lord, we thank you for your word today.

We thank you Lord for your love for us and for being the kind of heavenly father who we can always trust in, who loves us, will never leave us nor forsake us and I pray Lord that we would learn from you how that we might be better fathers and mothers, how we might be better Christians, and soldiers for Jesus Christ in this world, that we might live in such a way to show others the way to Christ. That we might speak with our lips. The words of God that we might show with our actions. The love of God. The meanwhile, warn people of the coming judgment that they will face if they do not come to you in humility and faith And Lord, I pray most of all, that we would not shirk those responsibilities with our children.

And Lord, that we would be grateful and honor those who have done their best to share those with us this day and we pray if there's one here that's not say that they'll come as we give this hymn of invitation and trust you today. In Jesus name, we pray.