Being a Godly Father

Take your Bibles if you would turn to Ephesians chapter six. Ephesians chapter six Like that message of the song Ian just sang. I praise the Lord that someday I will see heaven but not based on my righteousness. Based on the righteousness of Christ Jesus, my savior. Who gave his life on Calvary.

That I might receive his righteousness which is by faith. And not by works. I would love to say that I am the perfect father and my kids would laugh because I am not just like any of you Praise the Lord. I do have a perfect father who is in heaven I do have a perfect savior Jesus Christ, who gave his life for mine. And I thank the Lord on Father's Day today, not only for my earthly father who I was glad to have here a couple weeks ago with us and and and I respect and love greatly but more so my heavenly father who gave his son for me that I might become one of his children.

This morning, we're going to look in Ephesians chapter six and verse four in Ephesians chapter five and verse 25. Concerning what the Bible has to say about fathers and there are few other verses that we'll look at today. But one very simple point want to drive home this morning. Mainly to fathers. Some some some years I I speak primarily to children of honoring our fathers and some years I I feel led to speak to fathers about being the kind of father that is indeed honorable and follows Christ's example and so we're going to look at that one primarily this morning.

There are several fathers here and though for some of you, your children are grown, it doesn't change the fact that you are still their father. Your relationship has changed, rolls a little bit throughout the years but you are still their father and they still your children. In Ephesians chapter six and verse four, it says, and you fathers, provoke not your children to wrath but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. You look back across the page at Ephesians five twenty five. It says, husbands, love your wives even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it.

Let's go to the Lord in prayer once more. Lord, thank you for this day. This opportunity to look into your word that we may grow thereby. Lord, we thank you for what you did for us. Sending your only begotten son.

Giving yourself for us on the cross of Calvary that we might be saved through faith in you. We thank you Lord that you have welcomed us into the beloved, into your family through Jesus Christ savior. We pray Lord if there's one here today that doesn't have that assurance and doesn't have that faith, Lord, you would open their eyes and heart to see it today. We pray Lord that as we look into your word also, we would be today challenged to be more like our savior Jesus Christ and more like our heavenly father that we might be better fathers, mothers, children, and servants of Jesus Christ today. It's in Jesus name we do pray.

Amen. What makes a good father? What makes a good father? Well, as a good father, a rough, tough, masculine man who spends his time at work and play, taking nothing from anyone, even his wife and children but rules his roost with an iron hand. Is that the definition of a good father?

Maybe some but somebody's definition but not God's. Is a good father a sensitive man who understands that being a good husband and father means doing whatever his wife and children want to do. Letting them take the lead and not taking responsibility for his own home. Is that definition of a good father? Again, that might be somebody's definition.

But that wouldn't be God's. Often fathers and husbands are portrayed on TVs as Neanderthals who are big on brawn but bumbling fumbling idiots who don't have the brains nor the character to leave their homes. Praise God. I do not get my doctrine from TV. And the example that I'm trying to follow is not one of them.

It is the Lord Jesus Christ. What kind of father? What kind of husband does God set forth as an example in the scripture? Well, we could talk about different fathers throughout scripture. Some of them are good examples in some areas and very poor examples in others but there is one father in scripture that is always a good example.

That is our what? Our heavenly father. He never fails. To always set the right example for us. The kind of father that we ought to be.

What expectations does God have for fathers? Well, we can look in scripture and read, learn those expectations even this morning as we read chapter six and verse four and chapter five and verse 25 of Ephesians. In Ephesians five twenty five, it says, again, husbands what? Love your wives. Love your wives.

What what kind of husband and father is God looking for? What what expectation does he have above others that they want? That they be loving. That they be loving. Can you be tough and masculine and loving?

Yes. Yes, you can. Can you be sensitive and caring? Yes. And be loving.

Yes, you can. What does God expect of fathers to be loving fathers? Some are more brawny and masculine than others. Some may be a little more sensitive than others but what God expects of every father is to be a little more like our heavenly father. And our God among other things is what?

Is love. God is love and God expects fathers to be loving. It says again in chapter six verse four and you fathers provoke not your children wrath but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. That word nurture carries the idea of being loving as well. Not only as a husband also as a father.

Verse four begins with, you fathers provoke not your children to wrath or do not unduly provoke your children to anger. Don't be what? Don't be mean. Unkind. Unable to ever be pleased If you haven't noticed, we have a generation of angry young people.

Have you ever met one? Maybe you were one at one time. Often due to the fact that their parents, fathers in particularly in particular, were incredibly self centered or absent or unloving, temper prone. You know, I I don't know how many men I've talked to. Well, I just have a short fuse.

It's just the way I am. It doesn't make it right. Does it? And if God can change a sinner God can change a drug addict. God can change an alcoholic.

God can change a father with a what? With a short temper. And something that needs to change. Some fathers are in just inconsistent in their homes. And the result is often angry children.

As a youth pastor, which I was for twelve years, I saw this over and over and over again. Had a young man in my youth group. Actually, two young men from one family. Their names were Patrick and Brian and my wife smiled because she remembers Patrick and Brian. They seem to be kids that there was something inside of them that wanted to do right.

There was something inside of them that wanted to learn. I know Patrick made a profession of faith in Christ as savior. I I don't recall Brian ever did. But on more than one occasion, I got calls that the police was at their house and Patrick and his dad had got into it again and the police had to be called to break it up. Patrick's dad was a hippie and Patrick's grandfather was a military commander.

And Patrick's dad once told me, well, my dad ruled the roost with an iron fist and I don't want to be like that. I'm going to be his big buddy. But he forgot that his responsibility also meant that he also had to be a father as well as a big buddy. And it seemed that Patrick and Brian were left to their own until they aggravated dad just a little too much and then anger came out in both. There was a young man, a young lady, and their their little brother that we used to drop off at their house after church.

I dropped them off and on most occasions, the moment the door opened, I heard somebody screaming at the top of their lungs at them. Was no wonder that that young man had anger problems. I can't imagine living in a home where normal communication was just screaming at the top of your lungs. I remember walking up to a door of some couple of kids that came to our church. Their parents always seemed very nice but that day, they didn't know I was standing outside the door and you could hear the cuss words flying at their kids from the next yard over.

Finally, they realized there was somebody at the door. They opened it and all of a sudden, they were the nicest, sweetest people that ever was. What a double standard and no wonder those kids had troubles. I believe that God will hold accountable fathers for what kind of example they leave for their children and then when God says provoke not your children to wrath, God's going to hold fathers accountable for that. What kind of father does not provoke their children to wrath?

One who is what? One who is loving. You know, that's what that's what children are looking for. Our God is love. He gives love.

He desires love. He created beings that give love and what? Desire to be loved. That is certainly true of our children. It says here to bring them up, to bring them up.

That that is a responsibility and it's a responsibility that's given to who? Fathers here, not mothers, even though that is a joint responsibility shared by mothers. Not schools. Those schools can be used as a tool to help the father and mother to bring up their children, to raise them, to train them but it is a responsibility here that is given specifically to fathers. In Proverbs twenty two six, it says, train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Parents are given children. They are a treasure, a heritage, a gift from who? They are a gift from God of which we are stewards and we have the joy and privilege to train up in the way of the Lord. To train up in the right way. To help to raise and bring them up so that when they are older they will go the right way.

They will stick with the Lord and with his word and not go astray and how are we to bring them up or to bring them up or to train them like a master sculptor chisels away. At his masterpiece sculpture. Carefully, tediously. As a painter painstakingly paints a portrait carefully, thoughtfully. Like a vine dresser pruning the vines or my roommate at Bob Jones.

We called him Smitty but his name was John Smith. Who wants to be, you know, John, there's a million John Smith. So, we called him Smitty. One of Smitty's past times were bonsai trees. He had several of these little trees in the room and he would sit there and he would snip this often.

Snip that often. It's like this is I I thought it was ridiculous. I just spent all his time snipping at these little trees but he was caring for them. He took his time. It was important.

It was special to him and he trained that tree to go the direction that he wanted it to go. I'm thankful we have a couple people in our church that know how to prune bushes and trees because I don't. You can come look at the, what is that tree bush we have in the front yard? I can't remember the name of it but anyway, crape myrtle, that's it. We have a crape myrtle in the front yard.

I don't know how to prune the thing. I've tried to do a number of things. After about the end of the summer, Kate says it looks like a jester's hat because it grows these long things up and they anyway it just I drive by on the road and they look so beautiful you know and mine looks oh well anyway. I don't know what I'm doing And I don't take time to learn because that bush is just not that important to me but you know, who should be important to me? Their names are David and Joshua.

They deserve a father who cares. They deserve one who takes time to help train them lovingly in the way they should go. To nurture and to give admonition, To give loving discipline. Discipline is necessary for children. It's necessary for their protection.

It's necessary for setting boundaries that they might know right from wrong. That they might know where the boundaries are. Too many of these kids are confused without without direction and angry because nobody has set boundaries or at least the boundaries don't stay put. They keep moving around so they never know where they are. Loving discipline is the responsibility of parents.

Even corporal necessary when it's necessary. Proverbs 2,215 says, foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. You should expect it in children. But the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. What does that mean?

That means parent is your responsibility to discipline and to train your children. It's not always the funniest thing to do. But it is necessary. And it could, can, and should be done in love. Nurturing, loving discipline, loving admonition.

What's admonition? Admonition is teaching. It's teaching. Deuteronomy six, six, and seven say this, and these words which I command thee this day shall be in thine heart and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children. Thou shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thy house, thou when thou walkest by the way and when thou liest down and when thou risest up.

God expects us to take what he has taught us and to teach it to our children. God has given us that wonderful privilege. And that great responsibility. It's not enough to discipline. If you don't take the time to what?

Instruct and to teach in what is right. Just like the scripture teaches us. It's profitable for doctrine, for proof, for correction, for instruction, and righteousness. The word of our heavenly father. God expects us to take his word and to help to teach.

Our children in the ways of the Lord. It is our privilege but also fathers, it is our responsibility To bring loving discipline and admonition. You know, that takes that takes time That takes time It takes consistency It takes perseverance I remember as a youth pastor I would one particular Wednesday night or another I I would seen a a team doing something I would go, oh yes, they've got it. And the next week, Okay. No, they don't have it yet.

Guess what? More work to do. It takes what? It takes time. Whether you're a youth pastor, a pastor, particularly a How are we to do this?

Well, we're to do this as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it He left us this pattern of love patience, of compassion, of justice, of consistency, and perseverance in his word. He told his disciples in John thirteen thirty four and thirty five, he says, a new commandment I give unto you that you love one another, even even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this shall all men know that you are my disciples if you have love one to another. Again, in verse five to five twenty five here, Jesus said to husbands, he said, husbands, love your wives even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for. Why did Christ do that was so loving?

Well, here's what Christ did. He didn't just say I love you. He showed. He loved us. But God commended his love toward us.

He demonstrated his love toward us and that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Christ didn't die for us when we were beautiful and lovely and Christ died for us when we were ugly and lost in sin. Christ came and he suffered for your sin and mine on Calvary's Cross. He gave his life. He suffered our hell.

Our punishment. He took upon himself the wrath of God for our sins. It is a sacrificial one an unconditional love A love that does not demand but a love that what? A love that that gives. That's what our savior did for us.

In the hymn book, there's a hymn we sing it called I gave my life for thee. My precious blood I shed. That thou might ransom thee. And quicken from the dead. I gave, I gave my life for thee.

What hast thou given? To me. God gave Jesus Christ gave his life. He asked only that we love and serve him in return and that we love and serve one another Why is it so important that husband and fathers, husbands, and fathers love their wives and love their children Believe for a few reasons. First, fathers represent God in many respects in their home.

Fathers represent God the father to their children and God the son to their wives and as we represent him, we are not him. We are imperfect but we should represent his love Children that grow up in families and homes where father is absent, think God is absent. Where fathers mean thinks God is mean. How do they get that idea from their fathers? When we talk about their heavenly father, they have understand, hard time understanding his forgiveness.

Have an unders, a hard time understanding his patience. Have a hard time understanding his compassion if that's not what they experienced. In their home. Maybe because wives and children more than anything else need what? Not more money, not a bigger house, not a nicer car, not a father who's popular and famous.

What they need is love. Care, leadership, discipline, all of these things without love are empty and no amount of time or money can take its place and yet, it is a failing of fathers too often think that those other things are more important. Thus, men sometimes struggle with love. Typically, are caught up in who? In themselves.

Their ambitions, their hobbies, their accomplishments, and their families sometimes get lost in the shuffle. Even some of the great examples in scripture of great men at times failed to be great what? Fathers. Fathers. Because they got their priorities.

Out of line and they got their eyes. Off of the Lord. Look if you would with me in first Corinthians chapter 13. First Corinthians 13 Anybody know what first Corinthians 13 is about? It's about love.

The church at Corinth had become a church divided a church self centered in many respects people who rather than were working together for the sake of the Lord, for the cause of Christ, and for the love of God. We're trying to outdo one another. For the sake of themselves Church had become a competition. Who spoke the best? Who dressed the best?

Who did this the best and that the best? But it should have been about exalting the Lord Jesus Christ. Church at Corinth suffered a little bit from the same problem the church of Ephesus did. That is they had left their first what? Love.

Christ did not have the proper place. In their lives. So, in chapter 13, Paul stops and wants to spend a few minutes reminding them about what love is. Beloved, it says in first John, let us love one another for love is of God and everyone that loveth God is born of God and he and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not love, knoweth not God, for God is.

Love. Love. So, in chapter 13 in verse verse three verses, God says this, though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels and have not charity or love. I am become as a sounding brass or a tinkling symbol. For though I have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge and though I have all faith so that I could remove mountains and have not charity, I am nothing.

And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor and though I give my body to be burned and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. Fathers, you may accomplish great things in the eyes of others, in the eyes of the world. You may help others but you need to remember to love and to help those who God has put in your care. Your family and though the world may take notice of things we do If we do them without love, if we leave those behind that God has placed in our care, if we do not do them, then love and service to our king and our savior. The world may take notice.

God does not. And as Jesus said to the Pharisees in Matthew six, you have your reward. The praise of men. And that's all you'll get. Because you'll get nothing from God.

It says, I I like the the the metaphor here in verse one. It says, I am become as a sounding brass or a tink symbol. You know, sounding brass, tink symbol, I think of brass. I, my son has this instrument down here. He played a few minutes ago and you know what a symbol is.

I I could I could run you all out of the church this morning if I pick that thing up and try to play it. I can make noise out of it. Let me tell you. I can even hit a few notes. But I have no skill.

I have no talent and it'll just be an aggravating what? Noise. We go about our lives accomplishing great things for ourselves and forget the love of God, the love, his love for us, and the love we should have for him. Then, in the ears of God, we become become what I would become if I pick that thing up and played for you. An aggravating noise.

Look if you would in verses four to seven. I'm going to read a phrase at a time and and give a little bit of commentary. This describes the love of Christ is what it does for us. It's what drove him to Calvary. What draws him to open his arms and receive lost sinners who come to him by faith and it is the kind of love that he has wants us to have for each other.

Verse four, charity suffereth long and is kind. Love is patient with the failings of others. Can wait, can forgive, is thoughtful, and considerate. That's what love is. Charity envieth not.

Isn't jealous of the blessings of others? No, thankful for the blessings of others. Charity vaunteth not itself is not puffed up. Love doesn't seek to exalt self but others. Love doesn't say, look at me, doesn't boast or brag, doesn't seek high position, Instead, it seeks to exalt and to lift up others as God lifts up the humble who come to him.

It does not behave itself unseemly. It isn't rude or disrespectful. Conducts self appropriately and thoughtfully not drawing undue attention to self and dishonoring the Lord or others. Seeketh not her own isn't selfish or self centered and its outlook on life is not easily provoked, not irritated at offense, not quick tempered. There's that quick tempered.

Hot tempered, easily made angry but peaceful at heart and not strung too tight. I have to say, the Lord has helped me grow in regards to that. I've never lashed out so to speak. Lost my temper with my children but I have lost it with a few other things. Lost it with a table I was trying to move one day and kick the door and about broke my foot.

Lost it with the remote control and bashed it against the wall. Praise the Lord. That's been a few years ago. Lord has helped me to do a bit better. Love thinketh no evil.

Doesn't devise or wish evil on others, doesn't revenge, or keep a record of wrongs. That that in the Greek carries the idea of does not keep a record of wrongs. You can't keep a tally on how your children have let you down or how your spouse has let you down. You have to be willing to let things go. Out of what?

Out of love. Love rejoices not in iniquity but rejoices in the truth, doesn't rejoice when evil prevails either in practice or in the life of someone else. It beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. It is the foundation of our patience, our faith, our hope, our perseverance. Love gives victory over the trials of life, keeps us sane and sweet.

Keeps us optimistic and able to see the good in people. And in circumstances. Comes from God who is the God of love. God expects us to grow in it, to practice it, and to share it. With those whom God puts in our path, particularly our family.

And by the way, not only should fathers love their children but children should love and honor and cherish their fathers also. The fourth commandment, honor, no, it's the fifth commandment, sorry. Honor thy father and mother. The first commandment with promise. God wants us to make sure to understand that he considers this one important.

The world doesn't seem so as much particularly today. The home is under attack. God says, remember, honor your father and mother. Just like children need love Fathers and mothers need love and respect as well. Not meager obedience or empty gifts or dutiful visits.

Obedience is good. Gifts are nice. Visits are pleasant but without love and respect, they're empty. And parents deserve some more than others but they do deserve by virtue of being our parents Love and respect and respect means also to not treat them This this is just one thing that calls me. I'm going on a little rabbit trail here for just a moment Respect means also not to treat them as ob or their advice or opinion as antique or out of touch.

I'm appalled at how elders in our society are treated today. They're often treated as old fuddy duddies that are in the way. Because they don't know how to use a smartphone, they're out of touch. When life is not about how to use a smartphone It's how to raise a family. It's how to serve the Lord.

It's how to apply wisdom to authority to service, a family, to God. One of the main problems with our society today is that those who are garnered, those who have garnered, gained, obtained the most wisdom, and have it to share, treated as dinosaurs who know nothing of life today. When they have so much wisdom to share. We should honor our parents and our elders. Should take time to listen No, they might not understand how to work the remote control or or the smartphone.

They might have difficulties with certain technologies but you know something? What really counts in life? True wisdom? They have much of in many ways. And they should not be overlooked.

And they should not be disdained. They should be considered loved, and respected and certainly, we should honor our mother and our father in giving them that respect. Whether we're 10, 20, or 50. 70 years old. Verses eight through 13, it says, charity never faileth.

Whether there be prophecies, they shall fail, whether there be tongues, they shall cease. Whether they be knowledge, it shall vanish away. For we know in part, we prophesy in part. When that which is perfect is come and that which is in part shall be done away. When I was a child, I spake as a child.

I understood as a child. I thought as a child but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now, we see through a glass darkly but then face to face. Now, I know in part but then shall I know even as I also I am known and now abideth faith, faith, hope, charity. These three but the greatest of these is charity or love.

Love is of eternal value. It will last forever. It is greater than all others. If not, it's for God's love and we would be eternally lost. The gifts and abilities and accomplishments which are often the the focal points of our life and ministry are all things that will one day be obsolete, outdated, except for what?

Except for love. Even faith and hope will be of no use in heaven. When we're seeing Christ face to face when we're in heaven with him. Having received all of his promises. However, love is eternal.

Love will never become obsolete. Love we will use for all eternity. Fathers, we might want to start practicing it just a little bit more today. Sons and daughters, we might want to be practicing it a little more today love of an honor of our earthly parents but even more so, Of our heavenly father. We love him because he first, what?

Loved us. He gave his son a sacrifice for us on Calvary's Cross. You know him? He wants to know you. He loves you, gave his life for you, he'll save you, he'll give you a home in heaven.

You choose him by faith If you'll turn to him and embrace his love Let's pray. Dear heavenly father, we thank you Lord for your love for us and the opportunity you have given us to share that love with others We thank you Lord today that we can serve you in different capacities that you placed us in As pastors, deacons, teachers mothers and fathers and sons and daughters Lord, I pray that the love of Christ would shine brightly in our lives That we would not allow it to be dimmed. By selfishness, self centeredness, pride, that you would forgive us of those sins. Lord, that we might be more like our heavenly father. Lord, we pray if there's one here today that's never received Christ as Lord and savior, they would come.

As we sing this hymn of invitation, Lord, that they might step out We might have the wonderful privilege sharing with them the gospel and how they might be safe today and know it. It. Jesus precious name we do pray.