Husbands, Love Your Wives

Ephesians chapter five. You're gonna get Riot made it. Alright. Ephesians chapter five, and we will begin reading with verse 25 this morning. Ephesians five and verse 25.

Husbands, love your wives even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man yet ever hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, shall be joined unto his wife, and they too shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, not every one of you in particular shall love his wife even as himself and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Let's go to the Lord in prayer once more. Dear heavenly father, thank you, for your word.

Thank you for the reminder that you gave us and believers at Ephesus, Lord, today as husbands to love our wives as Christ loves his church. What an example that you have set for us. Lord, may we do our very best by your grace to demonstrate that love in our homes. Thank you, Lord, for your love for us. We pray, Lord, if there be one here today that is yet to receive your offer of salvation, we pray, Lord, that today would be their day of salvation.

In Jesus' name we do pray. Amen. Amen. I'm also gonna read this morning, first Peter three seven up on the screen. There likewise, Peter writes, ye husbands dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered.

I'm gonna take that this morning as the main text of the mess message. Husbands, love, honor, cherish your wives, the mother of your children today. As God has commanded us, expects of us, and we need not take his commands lightly. They are important. Everyone is important.

And today, we are to be reminded of the importance of this one, of the importance of the home and of the family and the example that we set for our children. In first Peter here, it says that husbands ought to dwell with their wives according to knowledge. The word dwell includes the idea of remaining, remain with them. Them, meaning your wives in context here. That is important.

That's just the starting point. Okay? Remain with them. There was among the Jews and even more so among the Gentiles a common practice of divorcing their wives. For the most insignificant of offenses or inconveniences, including the need to be faithful.

In some cases, a divorce could be convened right on the spot and the wife tossed out with no further thought or for no stated reason. In some parts of the world, that is still the case today. That poses a certain amount of peril and danger to a wife, particularly in cultures where wives, women do not work to be tossed out and and not have a roof and not have provision. That is certainly not ever what God intended, And we'll we'll come to a passage a little more about that in a minute. But let's let's start with this one out of Deuteronomy chapter 24 and verse one.

God sought to curtail this horrendous practice in the law by requiring a written reason, a reason something of a moral nature. Okay? Here in Deuteronomy twenty four one under the old covenant with Israel, under the law, Moses wrote when a man hath taken a wife and married her and it come to pass that she find no favor in his eyes because he hath found some uncleanness in her, in other words, something of a moral shortcoming in her, then let him write her a bill of divorcement and give it in her hand and send her out of his house. God permitted, never ordained. God ordained marriage.

God did not ordain what? Divorce. But Moses allowed us we'll read from Matthew 19 here again in just a moment, allowed for divorce because it was already sadly in very common practice with this caveat that there needed to be a moral reason and that it needed to be what? Written down on a paper that at least encouraged husbands to stay with their wives, not just because of they saw somebody else who they liked more and wanted to skip out on their faithfulness to their wife or because of what's the most common reason for divorce today? Incompatibility.

Hear that? Yeah. Read that all the time. Why did they get divorced? Well, because they were of incompatibility.

What does that mean? Well, we're different. We're all different. Okay? And if you allow incompatibility to be a problem, if you fancy that you can get out of marriage, then you might allow those things to become a problem and not work on fixing them.

But when we get to the New Testament, Matthew 19, I'd like to read from there for a moment. Matthew chapter 19, a few verses, what Christ had to say concerning marriage and divorce. Matthew chapter 19 beginning in verse three. The Pharisees. Well, who were the Pharisees?

The Pharisees were the religious leaders, The leaders of the particularly the teachers, okay, of Judaism in the day. The Pharisees, and then they were the more conservative group of several groups. The Pharisees also came unto him, that is under Jesus, tempting or testing him and saying to him, is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? Now, obviously, the answer to that is what? No.

It isn't lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause. And he answered and said unto them, have ye not read that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female? By the way, that kind of flies in the face of some who are teaching that there are 14 genders today and whatever other craziness in our world. At the beginning, God made them male and female. And he said, for this cause shall a man leave, father and mother shall cleave to his wife, and they twain shall be one flesh.

Wherefore, they are no more twain but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder. So Jesus the answer again to that is what? No. God does not permit a bore divorce for every cause, by no means.

God intended marriage to be what? Permanent until death do us part or as long as we both shall what? Live. Commonly said during the vows, during the wedding ceremony. Why?

Well, because that's obviously that's obviously God's intent. The Pharisees in verse seven say unto Jesus, well, why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses, because of the hardness of your heart, suffered or permitted you to put away your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. In other words, God created and ordained marriage. Man created what?

Divorce. K. Sadly, a reality because man is sinful, and therefore, things many relationships and other things because of sin fail. Therefore, man invented a way to deal with the problem called divorce, but it was not God's intent. Verse nine, he finishes, and I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife except it be for fornication, that goes back to that term uncleanness back in Deuteronomy 24, and shall marry another committeth adultery, whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

So, therefore, divorce doesn't solve the problem. Doesn't fix the issue. Jesus made it clear that remaining together is God's will for husband and wife. The only exception Christ even touched on was adultery. Praise God.

We are under grace and not the law. The cost of infidelity under the law was what? Death. And so in that case, when adultery was the uncleanness, divorce was not necessarily needed because of execution. So praise God, we're under grace.

But what is God's clear command to husbands to what? Dwell with or remain with your wives. With, the word with used here in the Greek stresses that or brings to our attention the necessity of the two becoming what? One. God's words not not mine.

Now, obviously, you don't lose your individuality. You don't merge into one body. You are still two individuals, but you now are two individuals who make up one what? One unit. Okay?

A partnership together in service of the Lord, to remain with. No longer entirely separate with your goals and your dreams. Now they must act as partners. Back in, Ephesians chapter five and verse 31, Paul writes, for this call shall man leave his mother and father, shall be joined under his wife, and they shall be one flesh, as Jesus referred to in Matthew chapter 19, as God said back in Genesis chapter two. Now they must act as partners, making decisions together, adapting their schedule and habits to accommodate the other, sharing responsibilities in the new home, looking out for the needs of the other, and serving the Lord together.

That is God's intent in the home. Being a leader in the home as husbands are called to be does not mean unilateral decision making or does not discount the needs or likes or concerns of the wife. No. It means the very the very opposite. A good leader considers the needs of the other partner, often placing their needs above what?

Above their own. That's the kind of leader that God was that's the kind of leader that Christ was. He told his disciples that the Gentiles, they lorded over one another. They like telling each other what to do. But a leader in God's kingdom is one who puts the needs of those they lead above who?

Above their their own needs. And that is what God expects of husbands. Being with your wife means making decisions and goals and approaching life as a single unit in which the needs and thoughts of both matter equally. It is a team effort. Husbands, be considerate of your wives.

To be with them, to remain with them doesn't just mean bodily. My body is in the house. No? It means body, soul, and spirit. In our very mind, our goals, with means together.

It says back in first Peter, once again chapter three and verse seven, to dwell with them according to what? Knowledge. Knowledge. Knowledge, information painstakingly gathered and amassed and used. Okay?

Wives and mothers need to not be taken for granted, which is often the case. When we are dating, which was for some of us back, you know, a few years ago, We worked at pleasing our then girlfriends and fiances. We searched diligently to find out about them and do things which made them what? Happy. Alright?

We want to know their favorite color, their favorite food, their favorite clothing, their favorite flowers, perfume. Know their past, their family, their dreams, their goals, their frustrations. We you talked and you learned and you gathered information so that you could could please them and make them happy. But sometimes in the marital relationship, the search for knowledge kinda comes to a what? Halt.

Well, I know enough. Don't need to learn anymore. Know enough. Does it work that way? Does it work that way in any relationship?

No, it shouldn't. You're going to grow closer to the person and the bond is gonna grow stronger. You have to keep communicating and you have to keep talking and you have to keep getting to know each other. That's the case with us and the Lord. Well, the Lord knows us as better than we could know ourselves but we have to grow in our knowledge of of him.

And we can't just sit back and say, well, I know enough about God. I don't need to learn anything else. Praise God. That's not your attitude or you probably wouldn't be here this morning. But hopefully, you're not just practicing that on Sunday.

Hopefully, you're talking and getting to know God through prayer and through his word each day of the week. Hopefully, if you're married, you talk to your wife or your husband sometime each day throughout the week and just not take them for granted. Sometimes that search for knowledge and marriage comes to a bit of a halt. Desire to please and make happy kind of gets pushed to the side. We've come wrapped up in things of life and our wives, the mother of our children, well, they're they're getting along fine.

But that's not what God expects of husbands just to to take their wives for granted and say, oh, well, they're getting along fine. Our relationship can become stagnant, our care and concern complacent as can our relationship with the Lord if we cease to get to know him better, our wives better. Jesus said in Matthew five in the beatitudes, blessed are they which, what? Hunger and thirst after righteousness. Those that are not satisfied but want to learn what?

Want to learn more that want to grow closer in their relationship with God, and thus, husbands grow closer with their wives. We do not provide the things that they need, which includes, but is not limited to, their daily provisions. Husbands, you need to put your thinking cap back on and keep it on in reference to your wives. Who expects so? Well, seems that God does.

And your wives do, and they should because marriage is a relationship and relationships must be nurtured. If they're not nurtured, they begin to grow kinda what? Stagnant and cold and nobody's happy. Not even who? Not even God.

He mentions at the end of first Peter three seven that your prayers be not hindered. What does that indicate? That if your relationship with your spouse is no good, then that does also hinder your fellowship with who? With God. You can't just disconnect the two.

Marriage is a covenant made between husband, wife, and who? God. As a Christian, we should understand that. So we it says, to dwell with them according to knowledge to honor, to give honor unto the wife. Paul wrote in Ephesians chapter five that husbands should love their wives even as what?

Christ loved the church. That means to cherish above all else. That that which is most important to be grasped a hold of and never let go. The one whose happiness, pleasure, and presence is essential and worth great sacrifice. That which is loved is precious indeed and esteemed as worth giving up for other things.

Thus giving of themselves to provide for their welfare. Thus, husbands giving up and providing for the welfare of their wives and their children. Setting aside preconceived notions of grandeur to be the husband that God has called them to be. Men often have visions of grandeur. We have this lofty goal, this don't forget about the lofty goal of being a good husband and a good father.

That's an important one and one that sometimes is dropped by husbands. Not only do they miss out, but their families miss out. In the same way, Christ gave up his position in heaven, gave up his glory, even his what? Life to provide for the for our welfare, to bring us salvation, to make us his bride, redeeming us, cleansing us, forgiving us, embracing us, changing us, providing us an eternal home with him in heaven. What did Jesus say to disciples in John 14?

He said, he told them not to be worried, concerned, that he was gonna go to prepare what? A place for them. If he go to prepare a place for them, he would come again and receive him unto himself. It didn't make any sense for him to go to prepare a place if he wasn't gonna come back and take him to the place he had provided. Then where he is, there we may be what?

There we may be also. In such, Jesus is borrowing from a common practice in Israel called a wedding and a marriage because the betrothed husband, after he was betrothed to the wife, would go back home, would get a job, would work, would would buy a a home, build a home, furnish the home, and when everything was ready in the home, then the husband would go back and marry the what? His wife. And then bring her to their new home. Jesus is borrowing from the picture and the culture in that day to assure his disciples that when he went away, he wasn't going away forever.

He hadn't forgotten about them. But he was active preparing a place for them that he'd one day come back to take them to be in that home with him. And he gave up his life. He suffered for our sins on the cross to do that, to make that way. That's how much he loves you.

And that is the example he has set for who? For husbands to love their wives. Not my words. Whose words? God's word.

God's word. More importantly, maybe you are here today and you have yet to receive the love of Christ. Do not rebuff his invitation, his proposal as such to be forgiven, to be embraced, to be cleansed, to be given an eternal life and a home in heaven. He offers that gift for all for whom he died, and that would include you. The same devotion God asks of husbands to demonstrate toward their wives.

Peter spoke of this duty in terms of value or esteem or honor rather than love, but the meaning or the result are the same in first Peter three seven. Husbands ought to honor their wives, to highly value them, giving them the place of honor in the home and in their life, demonstrating to their wives, children, and others that they are loved and honored above other things, like recreation or hobbies or even career or other people. There's nothing wrong with recreation. I like playing golf. I get to play about three times a year maybe.

But it's a recreation I enjoy. Hobbies. For some people that's fishing. I don't know, whatever your hobby may be. Hobbies can be fun, relaxing, even profitable, but they have to be in the right context and priorities must be right.

Even career. There is only one to whom your wife should play second fiddle, and that is to who? To God. Clearly placing the wife in the home on a pedestal of honor to be honored by all, treating her in every way with great respect and admiration before others so that all, including her, know how highly valued she is. Why do husbands or boyfriends open the door for their wives.

What's the customary thing to do? Well yeah. But it's it's to show what? It's to show respect and honor. Doing house chores can be a respect demonstration of respect and honor.

I hate vacuuming. My wife can tell you I despise I I hate cleaning. Ask me to do anything but clean and vacuum. Just not my but sometimes, you know, just little things like that, they they show honor. Listening when your spouse is talking.

Sometimes men have a hard time with that. Setting aside time for her, making the children respect her, being courteous, considerate, and kind, honor honoring your wives, being considerate of their of their needs and of their feelings. The husband is exhorted to honor and highly esteem and care for his wife with great sensitivity and understanding, understanding that wives and mothers can also be very good at hiding hurt and exhaustion, requiring husbands to be a more sensitive and better investigators than they often are. If nobody's complaining, then everything must be what? Yeah.

Okey dokey. Just fine. Dandy. No problems. Nobody's complaining.

Why do men think that way? Well, because if a man has a bad day and he comes home, everybody knows it. If they get their toes stepped on, they speak up. But wives often hide it out of fear or out of love or out of both. So while they are still hurting, they put on a what?

And put on a happy face. Don't sometimes it takes a little more thought and investigation. Why does God have to remind men of these things? Because, well, we struggle with these things sometimes, and that's why we have to be reminded. And it closes here with saying as being together, as being heirs together of the grace of life.

In God's eyes, though we are different, we are what? We are equal. Equal in value as children and in his care and are also equal, therefore, in our responsibility to honor and live for him. We are both the heirs of eternal life. All things being bestowed upon us and all things being bestowed upon us by a gracious and loving creator, including the things which we have also been entrusted with.

They're not just entrusted to the husband, not just entrusted to the your children are entrusted to both of you. Your ministry to the Lord is entrusted to both of you, not just one of you, but both of you. The grace belongs to both husband and wife together and equally as much as we are called of God and compelled by his grace to work together in this endeavor. As such, we are called by God and compelled by grace to work together in this endeavor of bringing glory to to God. There is no marriage or giving in marriage in heaven, unlike the custom in the Old Testament of the son receiving the inheritance and not the the daughter.

Before God, all are treated as sons. In other words, all are inheritors, both husband and wife. Child of God is a child of God, whether you're a man or a woman. Both have received the grace of God and both have been entrusted with it to work together in service of the Lord as a partnership and as a team. But that requires husbands to what?

To love and to honor their wives. That requires husbands to put forth a little bit of effort. We call this we have chosen this in least in our country to be Mother's Day, to honor the mothers, our mothers, and the mothers of our children. And so we should, one day a year. Anybody nobody's laughing or smiling?

No. How many days a year? Three hundred and sixty five and one fourth. Okay? Days a year.

Should we honor our wives and honor the God who gave them, who made them, who has joined us what? Together as one unit in service to the Lord that our prayers be not hindered and our endeavor to bring glory to our savior, to bring happiness and joy to the other partner in our home and to our children. It is important to God. He took half of a chapter of Ephesians, talked just about that one important component of marriage in the home. He likened it to the relationship between God and the the church.

Therefore, he takes it seriously and so should we. Sometimes, I think we're affected and influenced by the world around us who has made other things that are of less importance of greater and have minimized the importance of the home. Satan wants to destroy our relationship with God, wants to destroy our testimony for Christ, wants to destroy the church by destroying the home. By God's grace, as both husband and wife work together, that does not have to happen. It can be to the praise and glory of God.

And we as husbands, we as sons and daughters can today and every day show honor unto the mothers that are in our lives, Most importantly, to Jesus Christ who gave his life for us. And as we close this morning, I ask husbands, how are you doing in loving and honoring your wives? Wives, you might want to consider the reverse. But most of all, if you're here today, have you accepted the love of Christ? Have you accepted his proposal and invitation to come to him, to be forgiven and cleansed and redeemed by him and become part of his glorious church?

He he offers that today to you. If you will respond in faith and receive the risen savior Jesus Christ who died for you as the Lord and savior of your life. In a moment, we'll sing a hymn of invitation if the Lord has spoke to your heart. I I invite you. I'll meet you down here.

I'll pray with you. I'll answer any question you might have. This isn't this is about you this morning and about him. Let's pray. Dear God, we thank you, Lord, for your love for us.

We thank you, Lord, for the sacrifice you made. We thank you, Lord, the opportunity to know you and to serve you and to do that often in many cases with a husband and wife, with a partner. We pray, Lord, for those that might be in here today whose wives or husbands do not know you as Lord and savior of their life. We pray that you would work in the life of their spouse and through their testimony to bring them to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. We pray for those who are struggling in some respect with their home or marriage.

We pray, Lord, that you would help them to do their very best to bring glory and honor to you, Lord, and to be the testimony in the home that they ought to be. Lord, we pray if there's one here today that is yet to receive Jesus Christ as savior that they would come as we sing this hymn of invitation this morning. In Jesus' name, do pray. Amen.