Be an Honorable Father

Ephesians chapter six. Ephesians chapter six, and we're going to read verses one through four. Be being an honorable father. So, yes, this is a day to honor fathers. And we see that in the passage we're going to read in just a minute that we should honor them better than the way the world honors them.

Much better than the way the world tends to honor fathers and mothers today. We're also going to take the opportunity to preach to some of the fathers that are here or fathers that will one day be that are not yet on being an honorable father. Ephesians chapter six verses one through four. Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honor thy father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise.

That it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth. And you fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Let's pray. Dear heavenly Father, we thank you, Lord, for your word, for the opportunity to hear it, to proclaim it, to heed it. Lord, we thank you for Jesus Christ, our savior, and the privilege we have to worship here in his name today, to know you and eternal life through his sacrifice and his resurrection from the grave.

We pray, Lord, that Christ would truly be exalted in our midst today, that your word would not return void, and that if there be one that is yet to receive Christ as savior, that today would be their day of salvation. In Jesus' precious name we do pray. Amen. Are fathers really necessary? Or is there a paternal contribution in the lives of children that is truly essential?

That would probably not be a controversial statement or question in this congregation. Most of us would, I think, quite quickly nod that fathers are necessary and that they do make an essential contribution not just in the birth of their conception of their child, but also in the rearing of that child. But there's a growing contention in our society today that would say no. Fathers are not necessary. They are not essential.

As it has become more readily available, there are quite a few women choosing to have children without a husband, without a father. They can simply go to a medical institution, buy the necessary sperm, and thereby have children on purpose without a father. I want to read a list of names here. James and John, the sons of Zebedee. Peter and Andrew, sons of that one you might not know as well.

Peter is sometimes called Simon Simon son of Bar Jonah. Simon Bar Jonah, which means Simon son of Jonah, their father's name. Shem, Ham, and Japheth, Noah is their father. Noah's father, you might not know quite as well. His name was Lamech.

Enoch, the man who walked with God and was not for God took him. His father's name was Jared. King David, his father? Jesse. Of course, David is Solomon's father.

Isaac's father? Abraham. Abraham's father, not quite as well known, a guy by the name of Terah was the father of Abraham. Joseph's father, the Joseph in the Old Testament, his name was Jacob. By the way, the Joseph in the New Testament, his father also's name is Jacob, both of them.

Abel and Seth, who was their father? Adam. And Joshua? Well, Joshua was the son of what? The son of Nun.

Actually, Nun as in n u n. His father's name was Nun. We could go on listening. Heroes of the faith in the Bible, people that had a a impact on the world in which they live that, particularly for God or part of God's plan of redemption. And God, in many cases, chose to list the name of their of their father.

By the way, if you go through just as an aside here, if you go through Kings and Chronicles and it names the names of the kings, you'll also notice that many of the kings, it names their mother. Okay? Because mothers obviously had a big role in the lives of their sons who became king and God does not overlook that but this is Father's Day. Okay. So, we're talking about fathers today.

We recognize the fathers and sons. Don't underestimate the importance of a good father. Though Joseph was not Jesus' biological father, he filled that role in Jesus' earthly home. And God chose it to be so. God didn't just choose Mary.

He also chose who? He also chose Joseph. And by doing so, indicated the important role that fathers have in the rearing of children. There wasn't any need for Jesus to have an earthly father biologically because he was conceived of the Holy Spirit and Mary was a virgin. There was no need biologically for Jesus to have an earthly father.

So then why did God choose a woman who was betrothed to a man named Joseph so that to form a home in which Jesus would have a mother and a father. Why? Because I believe God is telling us something important that our world is missing today. Fathers are important, not just in the conception of their children but in the raising of their children, in the rearing of their children, in taking care of the home of their children. It has been said that a child's understanding of their heavenly father is in some measure linked to their understanding of his or her earthly father.

And simply from experience as a pastor, I would have to agree. If their father is unloving, oftentimes people struggle understanding the love of God because their earthly father was not loving. Obviously, their heavenly father is. If their father was mean, they often see God as being very strict and sometimes unloving and just there waiting for them to mess up. By the way, God is not there waiting for you to mess up so he can squash you.

God is a loving heavenly father who is waiting and encouraging and helping you to do right so he can bless you. Likewise, if their father was unforgiving, sometimes they struggle with understanding the forgiveness of God. If their father was absent or untrustworthy, they often lack security in their earthly father. If their father was permissive, then oftentimes they kind of see God as being permissive. Well, God is not permissive.

God is holy and just. Praise God. He's also loving and merciful. Conversely, if their father was loving, kind, firm, forgiving, and always there, It's easier for them to understand a God who is loving, kind, firm, forgiving, and always there. Fathers do play an important role in the lives of their children in every way, emotional, financial, spiritual, formative ways.

We celebrate and honor fathers today as we should. Fathers starting with our our heavenly father. This is my father's world. I'm speaking of my heavenly father. He and they deserve our honor and respect for the job that God has given them to provide and care for their families.

And that responsibility to honor them does not end when you leave home at 18 or 20 or 35, whatever the case may be. It continues through life. I've had to make two trips home recently to Virginia to help my my mom and my dad as he has had to go into convalescent care because of some some issues he is dealing with. Please pray for them. I appreciate it.

Many of you do. But I I I hate having to leave and be gone for a week or two, but I just felt it was the right thing to do because my mom and my dad, needed me. Praise God we have the perfect role model. We have a perfect role model for every father in heaven, our heavenly father. Our heavenly father who knows us better than we know ourselves.

Our heavenly father who loves us more than we'll ever understand. Our heavenly father who freely gives us all things which we need. He says, ask and it shall be what? Given. Seek and ye shall find.

Knock and it shall be open unto you. For he that asketh receiveth, he that seeketh findeth. He that knocketh it shall be open to you. He goes on to say, if your earthly father, if you ask him for a stone, ask him for bread, will he give you a stone? If you ask him for a fish, will he give you a snake?

Well, the obvious answer to that is no. He's not gonna give you a stone for bread or a snake for a fish. He's going to give you good things. Well, your earthly father gives you good things, then don't you think your heavenly father will give you good things as well? Even more so.

How often do we thank God for being our perfect heavenly father in whom we can fully trust? None of us is a perfect father. None of us had a perfect father on earth, but we do have one where? In heaven, for whom we can always be thankful. And how often do we thank him for being that perfect father for us?

And how seriously do fathers take the task before them as husbands and fathers to follow the example set forth by our heavenly father? We have a great example to follow. We need to do our best to learn from that wonderful example that we have been given. Why are fathers necessary? And what does a good father look like?

Well, let's take just a few minutes based on Ephesians six four and let's let's just look at that here quickly this morning. Verse four again, and ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, to anger, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition. The nurture and admonition of the Lord. Number one, a good father provides for the physical necessities of his children as our heavenly father has promised to do for those who love him. First Timothy five eight, you may have read this verse before, but if any provide not for his own and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel.

Notice the use of the pronouns he and his. Who is Paul particularly directing this message to? Husbands and fathers. Not she and hers, but he and his. It is the responsibility of every able-bodied husband and father to see that his family is provided for.

Says who? Says God. Says God. Though the Bible actually praises women and mothers who work and contribute to the home read Proverbs 31 about the virtuous woman and you'll see what I'm talking about. And though the Bible praises women and mothers who work and contribute, God places the responsibility of providing for the family squarely on the shoulders of fathers.

I and some of you also have ministered personally to children who were abandoned by their fathers, who are or whose fathers refused to provide for them and can see the impact on the life of a child that a absent or uncaring father had on their life. It is important that fathers accept that responsibility and do their best to provide. Number two, to provide for the education, knowledge, education and knowledge both temporal and eternal for their children. This again is like our heavenly father. He has provided us with his what?

With his word. And he has provided us with his spirit to help us to understand and apply his word. Why? Because he is our heavenly father and he wants us to know his will. He wants us to know about him.

He wants us to know about us. He wants us to follow in the way that is right that he might be glorified and we might be blessed. And the same should be true of earthly father. They should be concerned about the education of their children, both temporal and eternal, both in arithmetic and in things of eternal value. Deuteronomy six four through seven says this, excuse me.

Hear, oh Israel, the Lord our God is one Lord. Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy might. That verse, those two verses there may be more familiar to you than the following one, which says, and thou shalt teach them diligently, purposefully, thoughtfully unto thy children and shall talk of them when thou sittest in thine house and when thou walkest by the way and when thou liest down and when thou risest up. What is the Lord saying? What is Moses saying here?

He's saying not only should you be convinced in your heart that there is only one Lord, but you need to make it a purpose in your life to teach your children, to show them, to keep it before them, not the school system. I am a big proponent of Christian schools, but it's not the Christian school's responsibility to do that. It is the responsibility of who? Of parents, mothers, and fathers to talk about God, to talk about God when you're throwing a ball or when you're fishing, particularly to talk about God in your home, and to take them to a church where they'll learn about God and also other things that they need. It's not just the it's not just the responsibility of the mother, which sadly sometimes tends to be the way it is, that way in our society.

Notice fathers are not exempted from this responsibility. No, it would seem from the words nurture and admonition in Ephesians six four that fathers play a vital role in educating their children. Proverbs twenty two six, we read, train up a child in the way he should go. And when he is old, he will not depart from it. The word train means to set on the right path.

Set them on the right path. If you will help set them on the right path by God's grace, they'll stay on it. Times they may swerve a little bit, but they'll come back to it. But train them in the way. Set them on the right path.

It is the responsibility of both parents to do both do so by consistent and loving instruction and discipline. The nurture and admonition of the Lord. All too often, again, this this lands more squarely on the shoulders of the mom than it does the father. And though moms have a special role in the in the lives of their children, especially when they're very young, that doesn't that doesn't mean that fathers do not have a great responsibility in that as the head of the home. Number three, to provide for discipline and direction through the maze of life.

Bible reminds us in Hebrews not to get in despair over the chastening of the Lord because God chastens those, he disciplines those whom he loves because he is our perfect one, heavenly father. And so sometimes he has to discipline. Sometimes it is painful. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it is difficult.

But God, because he loves us, wants to help keep us out of the way of harm. Just like we wanna keep our children out of the road when they're little, where cars are going back and forth because we don't want them harmed. The word admonition means rebuke, and the word nurture implies discipline as well as education. In Proverbs twenty two fifteen, we read, foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. Proverbs twenty nine fifteen, the rod of reproof rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

Why does God why did God create children and parents and why why? Because children need parents not only to provide for their food and for their housing, they need parents to discipline them and help to direct them. And sometimes that direction and discipline can be painful both to the child and to the parent. We don't want to have to discipline our children. But as we read in scripture, sometimes loving discipline is necessary.

A child left to their own without loving discipline is likely to get hurt in more ways than one. They might run out in front of a car on the street. They might decide to put their hand on the nice, pretty, red burner on the stove or stick something into the light socket in the wall. And this is the responsibility of mothers and fathers. And there are too many children that come out of homes with no discipline.

And largely, that is the fault of the father who just does not want to be a father. He wants to be a buddy. A buddy is good. You should be buddies with your children, but you must also be fathers. And that requires requires something as simple sometimes as saying, no.

We live in a world where parents just aren't willing to do that, and children suffer because of it. Number four is responsibility of fathers to provide for them love and security and example to follow, especially in their relationship with God. To provide love and security. The word nurture is chosen somewhat in contrast to the word admonition. The word admonition comes across as kind of negative.

The word nurture is very what? Positive. Children need to be loved and they need to be made to feel secure. We live in a world with a lot of angry children. They form gangs.

Recently, they've had these teen takeovers, and many of them, not all, are angry. And they vandalize, and they get violent. They sometimes kill one another. They are lost in this world, lost spiritually, lost in in every way, and most of them come from homes without fathers. And it is a fact.

The vast majority come from homes. The vast majority of people in jail come from homes without fathers or where the fathers did not take responsibility for their children or their home. They did not nurture them. They did not give them a nurturing, loving, secure home in which to grow up. We see some good examples in scripture, and we also see a few that are not so good as well.

Jesse is a good example, it would seem, David's father. David did learn, I think, a lot about the Lord from his father Jesse, as he did from his father Obed, as he did from his father Boaz, who married Ruth, if you David, sadly, I think failed in some ways in his home. We see the story of Absalom and and the struggles of his home because he was a good king but not always a good, what, father. Eli, who seemed to do a marvelous job with Samuel in his old age, it would appear was not a very good father to his two sons, Hophni and Phineas, who mocked God even in the priesthood. Jacob failed in many ways, but yet, it seems in some ways he succeeded with Joseph.

If fathers fail, there there are consequences. Exodus 20 verse five. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord, thy God, am a jealous God visiting the iniquity of the, what? Fathers upon the children under the third and fourth generation of them that hate me.

I think about the Amorites or you might know them better as the Canaanites. The Canaanites were a people group that settled in the land that we call Canaan that God later gave to Israel. The Canaanites, when Abraham was there among them, God said to Abraham, your people, your descendants are gonna be taken into slavery in a foreign land for four hundred years and then they'll be brought back to conquer and to take the land because the iniquity of the Amorites is not yet what? Not yet full. In other words, God gave the Canaanites another nearly five hundred years to get it right.

And generation after generation, father after father taught their children to worship worthless idols and to live immoral, ungodly lives. And finally, God said, it was what? It was. It was enough. But when fathers fail and mothers too, it has an effect on their children.

And we can see that effect even in The United States Of America. Why is it that each generation gets further from the Lord than the generation before? It's because in many cases, fathers who do know Christ and do know better are not the kind of fathers they ought to be, And we see the result. In Judges two ten, we read this. Remember back in Deuteronomy six, it told them, and teach these diligently unto your, what?

Unto your children. He goes on to say in Deuteronomy, lest in time when they have the land and they have the the the honey and the and all of the all the wonderful blessings of being in the land that they forget who? That they forget God. And in Judges two ten, a couple generations later, we read this. And also that generation were gathered unto their fathers and there arose another generation after them which knew not the Lord nor yet the works which he had done for Israel.

And there arose a generation who knew not the Lord. Responsibility of the mothers and the fathers to teach their children, And somewhere along the line, they failed. And Israel suffered generation after generation in many cases. We cannot fix everybody else, but we can start with who? We can start with us.

Parents, grandparents, one day to be parents and be the kind of fathers that indeed are to be honored by the Lord for having done their best. None perfect, none probably with no regrets, but fathers who did their best to keep the Lord before their children, to nurture, to admonish them, to provide for them. Like our what? Our heavenly father has done for us. And praise be to God.

For good, not perfect, but good loving parents that most of us had. Don't forget to thank them, especially if they're here where you can thank them today or find ways to honor them. Most of all, by being a good parent to your children and by following the Lord, our heavenly Father. If you're here today, you say, what do you mean by heavenly father? Well, the Bible says, as many as received him, that is Jesus, to them gave he power to become the sons or the children of God, even to them that believe on his what?

On his name. Are you a child of God? Can you say with absolute certainty in your heart, God is my heavenly father because I have received his son by faith as my Lord. And if that is not yet the case, I would plead with you today as we sing this hymn of invitation. Come.

Come so we can talk and make sure because that is the most important decision. And that is the most important thing that every father needs is to know your heavenly father. Let's pray. Dear heavenly Lord, heavenly father, we thank you, Lord, for this opportunity to share your word today, to be reminded of how great you are as our heavenly father and the responsibilities you have given to us that are fathers or will be. And, Lord, we we pray if there's one here today that is yet to receive Christ as savior, that they too would come to know you as Lord and savior, that they would come as we sing this hymn of invitation this morning.

In Jesus name, we do pray. Amen.